lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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