I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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