We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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