I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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