Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i dont even know how to be here
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Randomize
