How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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