and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
