Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
