I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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