i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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