She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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