dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I will be naked everywhere
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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