i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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