Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
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I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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