i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
