A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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