You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
