wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
