I am puke
it wasn't lemon gatorade
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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