hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
