I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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