When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
