You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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