Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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