He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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