i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
