I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
