We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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