Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
