i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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