"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
