There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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