ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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