How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
