have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
