Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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