Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
