my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
