What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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