I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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