think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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