My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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