Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
