He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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