just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
