I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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