Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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