Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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