two words: eviction party
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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