if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
