Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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