she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
