He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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