Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize