Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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