Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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