Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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