He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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