He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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